Recently, I had a epiphany when I was tossing and turning in my sleep. I thought about how I had been single for over a year and I was contemplating if love even existed. Trying to find the right girlfriend for me was damn near impossible. Whenever I got close to entering a relationship, my self-doubt would trigger insanely and I would back out. Then I realized love and hate played a major part in my relationship ordeal.

The idea of love and hate is very complex but can also be simple at the time. I believe ideas such as love and hate can be defined, are present and can be manifested given the appropriate situation. I believe love and hate are systematic processes. I believe love and hate are the result of an active mechanism. This active mechanism is known as Emotion Stimulate Response.

We can define love and hate as the result of Emotion Stimulate Response (ESR). ESR is a three-part process where love or hate can exist and be manifested. The first part of ESR is the object (any object or thing) that triggers or stimulates an emotion in a person or thing as the subject. This part is called the Emotion. Note that the Emotion can be a positive or negative force. The Emotion can embody or represent various feelings. Feelings such as anger, fear, rejection, disgust, happiness, bitterness, sadness, compassion, identity, obsession, desire, lust, ambition, curiosity, greed, companionship, willingness, tranquility, jealousy, determination, excitement, security, warmth, hope, trust, completion and all the abstract things which the subject can possibly feel.

As a result, the subject is emotionally stimulated leading to the second stage of ESR. We can also refer to the subject as the Stimulate.

Following these feelings, the subject is compelled to perform a certain action in order to acquire or maintain those feelings or reject them. This third and final part of ESR is known as the Response. This is when either love or hate comes into play.

There are two types of ESR. One ESR produces love and the other correlates hate. These two types of ESR are known as Constructive Emotion Stimulate Response (CESR) and Deconstructive Emotion Stimulate Response (DESR). CESR is what we usually associate  with the idea of love. DESR is the device that usually pertains to hate or the device that harbors hate. However, that doesn’t mean CESR is good and DESR is bad. Both types of ESR are good and will be explained in further detail.

In CESR, The object triggers or stimulates a positive Emotion in a subject (The Stimulate.) The Emotion will embody or represent a positive feeling. For example, say the Emotion represents a positive feeling such as happiness. Once the object stimulates that Emotion of happiness in the subject, the subject may make a commitment or perform a certain action to attach itself to the object so that it can be emotionally stimulated by the object constantly. This third and final part is called the Response. Thus the Stimulated subject connects with the Emotion-stimulating object by making a Response. Hence all three parts of the ESR synergize and come together, we can refer to it as CESR. CESR is the device that enables love to exist and be manifested. Imagine it as a generator that needs all its components to be connected so that it can provide some sort of power that represents love.

Note that CESR can happen instantly or can act as a catalyst. Sometimes it will happen gradually. It  will take a certain amount of time before the object can stimulate an Emotion or a Response can be made; until then CESR is not completed. It can be reciprocated or not. CESR can happen as a result of various situations. But it can also be antagonized, disrupted or eradicated by a decisive factor. CESR can happen between two or more people or forces. It can happen between a man and woman, a mother and her child, a musician and music, it can happen between Jesus Christ and His followers, it can even happen between a person and an inanimate object and so on.  

All three parts of CESR need to sync and constantly synergize so that love can exist and be manifested. If any of the three parts of CESR is absent, love will not be able to exist.

I guess that’s why I’m still single. I haven’t come across any girl that stimulated me in a positive way that I’d respond in order to connect with her or vice versa. 

A clear example of CESR happened not too long ago. I talked with my friend Nicholas who is currently in a serious relationship with his girlfriend Michelle. Things are going really well between them. I asked Nicholas if he had any positive Emotion when he saw or met Michelle for the first time. He confirmed. I then asked him to list or recall as many feelings as possible from his Emotion. He told me, “I felt awestruck, you know? I saw her and I was amazed, excited I felt attraction and I was kind of happy.”

In this case, Michelle is the object that stimulated the positive Emotion. Emotion that stimulated feelings of awe, amazement, attraction, excitement and happiness in Nicholas, who is the subject or Stimulate. As the recipient of these feelings, Nicholas was compelled to make a Response so he could maintain those feelings. Nicholas therefore made the Response by getting to know Michelle, communicating with her, asking her out, buying her gifts and making her his girlfriend.  Thus Nicholas successfully connected himself with Michelle who is the object stimulating emotional Response. This is a prime example of CESR synergizing and love begins to exist. CESR works as long as Michelle is able to stimulate the positive Emotion in Nicholas.  Nicholas must also constantly maintain the positive Emotion by making a Response in order to stay connected with Michelle as the object. It is only in this systematic process CESR is able to generate  love . The love which Nicholas has for Michelle

Humans are able to love and we definitely have the ability to hate. When we think of hate we think of all the worst things and all the negative ideas associated with it. However, what we don’t think of is the rationale behind it. This is where Deconstructive Emotion Stimulated Response (DESR) comes into play. It has the same three-part process as CESR only this time all the three parts do not synergize or come together but are detached or disassembled.

Hate results from DESR when the object stimulates a negative Emotion in a subject (The Stimulate.) The Emotion will represent a feeling that is undesired by the subject. As a result, the subject will make the Response by trying to detach itself from the object in some way in order to get rid of the negative Emotion and lose its connection with the object.  Unlike CESR, the three parts are not connected but need to be separated so hate can exist and serve as the stabilizer.

Hate in a general sense is not good but the hate resulting from DESR is actually a good thing pertaining to the subject. The subject needs to harbor some kind of hate to avoid the negative Emotion. Thus DESR is the defense mechanism that drives us to hate for our own purposeful reason.

            For example, my friend Jessica absolutely hates spiders. She would shriek in terror if she ever came near one. “I can’t stand spiders; they’re so scary and disgusting.”

 In this case, spiders are the object that stimulates the negative Emotion in the subject. The negative Emotion represents feelings of fear and dread. Since the feelings are negative, Jessica will have no desire to sustain or maintain those feelings. She will want to suppress or reject them. In order for DESR to happen, Jessica must make a Response. So I asked her what she would do if she saw a spider.  

“Oh my goodness, I’d freak out big time if I ever saw one, I’d try to kill it or run away screaming my head off,” She said.

As a result, Jessica’s Response is to panic, kill or run away from any spider if she ever encountered one. She makes this Response so that she won’t feel the fear or panic stimulated spiders. Once she makes the Response, Jessica is detached or separated from the spiders so she can suppress or rid herself of the negative Emotion. Thus DESR functions as an emotional stabilizer. It helps Jessica break her connection with the spiders by suppressing the negative Emotion Stimulated in her. Once that happens Jessica is able to harbor the necessary hate for spiders.

The ESR is a daily part of our lives and is the medium that helps us connect to whatever we hold dear or reject the things we despise in order to justify our own motives.

Whether it is the love of family, friends, a significant other; something that is an essential part of our lives or the hate of spiders, ESR is the device that helps us convey or demonstrate our love or hate of those certain things.

In conclusion, ESR is nothing short of but the actual representation and embodiment of all kinds of love and hate.

Kuuku De-Graft-Duncan (09/21/2009)

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DISCLAIMER: THIS THEORY IS MINE AND MINE ONLY. I HAVE NOT PLAGERIAZED ANYONE. ANY SIMILAR IDEA OR THOUGHT PATTERN IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL AND MAY EVEN SHED A NEW LIGHT ON ANY PREVIOUS ESTABLISHED THEORIES. SHOULD ANY OTHER THEORY BE IDENTICAL TO THIS ONE IS A COMPLETE INFRINGEMENT OF MY WORK. I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS DECIPHERED THIS!