Arsene Wenger has made a sensational swoop to sign Jack Wilshere’s impregnated girlfriend who is set to give birth to a footballing prodigy in 9 months time. The Arsenal coach was reluctant to part with the cash but after witnessing the first kick, Wenger splashed a whopping 200 pounds for the unbirthed star.

“It’s a great bargain, I’ll tell you that. This will save us nine months of counter-balancing our wage structure with unreasonably high-priced contracts with that of Samir Nasri and Cesc Fabregas.” Wenger said

Wenger was full of praise for the child saying that he has so much potential and can not wait to work with the fetus. “I’ve seen the sonogram. He will add a lot of quality to our squad.”

Though he has been criticized heavily by fans for not diving into a voracious transfer market for more experienced and established players, Arsene Wenger assures fans that they are heading in the right direction and that they should have faith. With the departures of Gael Clichy to Manchester City and troubling rumors surrounding Samir Nasri and Cesc Fabregas, Wenger claims this is the best piece of news  for the club.

“Yes, we haven’t achieved much in the past six years but we have always been very close and I understand their frustration. That is why I’m doing whatever it takes to secure Arsenal’s future at hand.”

With the likes of 17-year-old Carl Jenkison, and Ryo Miyaichi, the trio will become a team destined for trophies in 2030.

“It’s not always about signing the most expensive players, but you have look for cheap players nobody has ever heard or seen but also have explosive amounts of talent waiting to be tapped. How do you think I signed players like Hleb? Wilshere? Vermaelen and Koscielny?”

Asked whether he’d be looking to sign more players after rumors of Nasri leaving to Manchester City and Fabregas en route to Barcelona, the team that first rejected him in 2003, he smiled. “We’re fighting very hard to keep both Nasri and Fabregas but if they should leave, we’ll be very active this summer to sign more players of the baby’s quality,”

But not to worry Arsenal fans. Media sources have confirmed Wenger has also lined up a bid to sign Robin Van Persie’s 4-year-old son Shaqueel, who has also been dubbed a future world class striker.

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